I’ll be seeing the super fly Erykah Badu next month and my favourite douche bag Kanye West next week with Hype Girl aka; my super-fly daughter. I’ve been losing sleep over what we should both wear, I know, I’m a tad ridiculous but you have got to expect that from me, ridiculous is good right? it’s a harmless act. Today I sorted out what I’m wearing to Kanye, it’s so bloody hot here at the moment so comfort will take precedence. I am rather happy with the outcome of this little gem so I wanted to share it with you and if you like maybe you can make one of your own too. Just don’t wear it to Kanye because that would be totally ridiculous. Anyway so, I thrifted this revolting cheesecloth skirt for $3, to me it is ug-ga- ly and that is exactly what you want, you want something that will surface a little bit of vomit in your throat why? because this ugly duckling will become a beautiful African swan. Do they have swans in Africa? it’s highly unlikely.

So what you want to do is:

::  Remove the waistband.
::  Open the skirt up at the seam.
::  Cut 5cm strips on the bias.
::  Sew your strips wrong side to wrong side.
::  Use a loop turner to turn each strip right side around.
::  Lay out your strips shortest to longest in bunches (this takes some fussing about, you will probably get annoyed around about now, just warning you, stick with it).
::  Are you happy with the sorting? Good, now sew a straight stitch along the end to hold them in place.
::  Cut two squares and apply iron-on interfacing, you can be the judge of the width and height, just remember your seam allowance.
::  Sew the strips into the squares. You’ll get what I mean when you see the squares down the bottom there.
::  Use some of the strips off-cut and make a loop for both squares for the tie to travel through.
::  Maybe add some beads at the end of the ties so the back of your neck looks hot from behind. Giddy-Up .

I had a small piece left over so I’ll use that as a matching turban, and why not. Here is the result of my new neckpiece titled the ‘Wombo Lombo’ after Angelique Kidjo’s brilliant song from her Fifa album back in the day. This thing goes off when you do the shoulder shimmy shake I was practicing last night for Kanye it goes down a treat. Any who here is what she looks like all dressed up and ready to shimmy shake for Kanye’s Dark Fantasy.

I spied an ugly brown skirt today, I think I’ll need a brown one too.